Friday, November 3, 2017

Equipment Files: Skullfang

The Grim Scythe is cool and fearsome as Hell, but it’s not the coolest or fearsomest weapon in the Reaper arsenal, mostly because it’s not really a weapon at all. Skullfang remedies this deficiency by being a weapon to the greatest extent possible, one precision-engineered by Athena to be insanely cool and fearsome. Skullfang includes many useful features, not least of which is the bitchin’ skull on the hilt. In terms of practicality, it boasts a wicked blade (pitch black, of course) that’s sharper than my wit and harder than loving Eris. Plus, a mere thought can set it ablaze with flames hotter than that burn just now. Since Athena always goes the extra mile, the flames come in a variety of rad colors, like black, violet, blue, blood red, rainbow, hot pink, (because fire is hot, you see) darker black, and I guess orange if you’re some kind of chump. Another neat thing about Skullfang is its name, Skullfang, which is extremely good. The Skull comes from the skull on the hilt, and a fang is something that’s sharp, like a sword, which is what Skullfang is. Unlike a lot of your equipment, Skullfang isn’t a replica of anything; it’s a completely original weapon designed for reapers, which is always cooler than jacking someone else’s style.


But I’ve saved the best feature for last. You may notice that I’ve neglected to mention exactly what kind of sword Skullfang is (other than “a damn fine one”). That’s because it’s all of them.  The same way you can activate the flames, you can also change the blade’s shape to a type of sword that fits your fighting style. You can make it a shortsword, (best for dual wielding) a rapier, (good for stabbing) a scimitar, (good for… horse warfare? I’ll see if I can hook you up with some sick skeleton horses to make this happen) a greatsword, (very big sword wielded with two hands) a claymore, (another very big sword wielded with two hands that I guess is somehow different from greatsword) and probably some other things, too. Maybe a sword-whip thing? That would be tight as Hell. The transformation happens in less than a second, so it can be used mid-battle to throw off your opponents. You can also do some fancy moves like stabbing someone with the rapier, then transforming it into a claymore while it’s inside them, turning a small stab into a big stab.


While looking cool is the main function of Skullfang’s flames, they’re “technically” there because they allow the blade to cut through souls, allowing Skullfang to function as a backup reaping tool, in case your scythe is busted or whatever. A heavier form like a claymore is your best bet for making a clean cut with it, but even then, you’re way better off using a scythe, so Skullfang should only be used for reaping in emergencies. That said, you should also only really use it for fighting in emergencies; if you ever find yourself in a confrontation, remember that your most powerful weapon is teamwork. So, if at all possible, run like Hell and find someone stronger to fight so you don’t have to. There’s a whole process you can go through to request combat assistance from the Bureau, which you can find somewhere else in this book. But if you keep shouting long enough in the Special Task Office, that’ll probably do the trick. Just be sure to clarify that you’re ignoring proper procedure because you’re lazy, not because of how bad the situation is. Whatever it is you’re trying to get out of fighting, I assure you that you’d fare better against it than you would trying to explain to Atropos why she was summoned to lay waste to a nymph that got a little too saucy.