Personnel Files: Lethe (Part 2)

Lethe is, hands down, the flakiest person in existence. Her memory is shorter than Erebus’ temper. She can forget something more quickly than Zeus can get laid. I said, she’s so forgetful, her car keys retrace their steps to find her. OK, sorry, don’t mind my savage burns just then, they were pretty mean. But they were also kind of true. Except for that last one. I don’t think that one actually made any sense.

While it is true that Lethe forgets everything, it’s really not her fault. If anything, it’s kind of ours. When it became clear that we’d need a deity of forgetfulness and oblivion, it was kind of a tough sell. Gods are fated to embody the domain they oversee, and no one wanted to live an eternity with no memory to show for it. Just when it seemed like we’d have to force the role on someone, a young woman volunteered. My favorite niece, in fact. Really, the only offspring of Eris that I particularly cared for at all, if I’m being perfectly honest. She had big dreams. Not of power, or fame, but just to help. She was pretty young around the time of The Divine War. She didn’t see it all, but she saw enough to know for damn sure that she didn’t want it to happen again. We all did. So she wanted to do her part in ensuring that the reign of The Pantheon went as smoothly as possible, even if it meant giving something up. Or maybe her memories of The War were so traumatic that she’d do anything to forget them. But that’s way too sad, so let’s just say it’s the first thing. To this day, her only persistent memory is of The Moirai, and her oath to carry out our will. She knows that, in the distant past, far beyond the grasp of her memory, some version of her would be happy to know that she is doing her very best to build a brighter future. And that’s all she needs.

Lethe is a Maximal Sweetheart. Not because there does not exist someone that I want to hug more than her, but because such a person cannot exist. Her obliviousness has allowed her to remain unmarred by the bitterness and cynicism that claims most who spend too much time down here. Unfortunately, that same obliviousness tends to frustrate a lot of people, who tend to get real nasty. These people really piss me off. Every time someone yells at her, she is surprised, because as far as she remembers, it’s never happened before. It’s scary, and it’s awful, and she’s worried that she’s ruined everything, that she’s broken her promise to the one memory she has. But even when people are being rude at her, she always does her best to try to help them. That’s why I ask that you please be patient and understanding when dealing with her, and not get mad at her. At least, don’t take out your anger on her. Actually, you know what? Screw asking. I order you to be as compassionate as possible when dealing with Lethe. You are to, in no way, intentional or unintentional, cause her emotional distress. If you do, I will find you, and so help me Gods I will fight you. Then we’ll see how you measure up.