Personnel Files: Persephone (Part 3)

OK, look, I know that this section is kind of dragging on, especially since Persephone, admittedly, doesn’t do a whole lot within The Bureau of Death. But I think it’s kind of BS that the freakin’ Queen of the Underworld gets a bio that’s just a bunch of stuff that happened to her in the past. It’s true that her kidnapping had a great and lasting impact on the political atmosphere of “The spheres of the divine” or whatever, but she’s more than just a history lesson. So I want to give you an idea of what she’s actually like, as a person.

Persephone is kind and gentle, especially compared to other denizens of The Underworld. Most see her as a either as a figurehead, a pretty face too weak to belong in The Underworld, or a poor little girl cruelly consigned to an eternity in The Underworld by circumstances beyond her understanding. But she is none of these things.  She can be quite forceful when she needs to be, and abhors nothing more than being pitied as a tragic figure. She has learned to use people’s expectations of her to her advantage, and often gives the impression of being less knowledgeable than she actually is. Now that I’ve written that out, I realize that it kind of seems like she’s some manipulative schemer, but I promise, she’s a total sweetheart. But you don’t want to get on her bad side. Just ask Hades. Not a lot of people know this, but he’s actually super whipped. He knows better than anyone that Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned, and we’ve got, like, three Furies down here. Officially, Hades has the final say on judging the eventual destination of the souls of the deceased, but Persephone has supreme veto power. She has been known to occasionally pardon or damn souls, especially based on their treatment of animals or respect towards nature. And, while she technically doesn’t have the power to do so, Hades always knows better than to go against her wishes.

A thing you should probably know about Persephone is that she doesn’t really like Reapers. That’s not to say that, if you’re a reaper (which you totally are now, by the way) she won’t like you; it’s more that she doesn’t like the idea of reapers. She doesn’t think it’s fair that we force mortals to agree to do our dirty work forever, before they really have any idea what it entails. Maybe she pities you for being forced to an existence bound to the underworld, viewing the place you once called home only in glimpses. That would be rather ironic. And I get where she’s coming from, but I disagree. Being a Reaper is way cooler than whatever you’d be doing right now if you hadn’t chosen to read past that first paragraph. Trust me. But she’s still pretty friendly with Reapers. If you see her, don’t be intimidated by her just because she’s The Queen of The Underworld, and don’t treat her like she’s some delicate flower who might get spooked by a talking skeleton. Just say hi. But don’t make it weird or anything. Just play it cool.